This week in D.H. Hill Library, one of the most anxiety-provoking experiences happened: I got stuck in an elevator with four complete strangers.
We all stood within the metal box as far away as possible from each other and didn’t utter a single word while we were held prisoner by the elevator for about two whole minutes. Finally, the doors reopened and we all exited without hesitation and dispersed throughout the floor. The situation was intensified as no one spoke to each other.
The awkward situation compelled me to think about the social situation of elevators, and brought me to the conclusion that students need to stop being unsocial, awkward elevator riders. The elevator is a perfect opportunity to practice small talk with random strangers, which can benefit both your professional and personal communication skills.
Firstly, why do we act so awkward when we’re in elevators with others? University of Chicago Professor Dario Maestripieri believes that this may be an instinctive behavior in response to a perceived threat within a social situation.
Maestripieri has researched primates that are evolutionarily distant to humans, and he has found that in similar situations, they would stand in corners, avoid eye contact and attempt to “smile” to reduce the perceived threat. This instinctual, irrational thinking creates a fear of aggression that isn’t even present in the situation.
In addition to an irrational perceived fear, social politeness now influences the unsociable behaviors of riders. Depending on what someone deems as “socially polite,” some people will avoid trivial small talk with strangers, while others will strike up a conversation without hesitation.
However, research has proven that small talk is beneficial and can actually make you smarter. A research team from the University of Michigan found that small talk not only improves social functioning, but also improves cognitive skills like problem solving at the same level as doing ten minutes of “intellectual activities” such as crossword puzzles.
Additionally, small talk with strangers or acquaintances is an essential skill both in and out of the office. The World Economic Forum published a list of the top ten skills needed to thrive in 2020, and four out of the ten skills focused on social/emotional intelligence and relationships with others. All workers need to be able to communicate in order to succeed; therefore, students need to learn how to keep a basic, light conversation going without being awkward.
Being skillful with the art of small talk is beneficial outside of the office, as well. Having organic, comfortable conversations with strangers or people you’ve just been introduced to can help with forming new relationships.
Yet like any skill in life, you need practice in order to master it, says psychology professor and shyness expert Bernardo J. Carducci. And what better time to practice initiating interesting, fast conversations than in an elevator with a captive audience?
How exactly can you practice next time you’re in D.H. Hill or Hunt Library? Maybe start with a simple greeting, or something short and funny about Raleigh’s weather patterns or midterms. The topic needs to be relevant to both parties and timely.
The topic should not be anything basic, long or complex that will create a conversation that will awkwardly last longer than the short ride (i.e. “how are you?”). Most of the time the fellow riders will respond out of the same social politeness that would normally keep them quiet if you didn’t say anything.
By practicing on elevators with random students and faculty around campus, you’ll develop the skills and confidence to initiate, hold and end a short conversation with ease. It’ll elevate your small talk, cognitive capabilities and social skills.
