My job as a journalist is to connect the dots. Most connections are pretty straight forward, but sometimes the line drawn between two points gives rise to important questions like, “Seriously?” And, “Are you kidding me?” And most importantly, “Are you crazy?!” Well, readers, I’m here to answer these questions: Yes. No. Maybe.

On Monday, our democratically elected Dictator in Chief took the oath of office with his hand on not one, but three Bibles — just what you’d expect from a secret Muslim. And now this secret Muslim is gunning down your Second Amendment right to bear arms — and when he implements Sharia law — probably your right to bare arms, too. All of you women and bros out there can kiss your tank-tops goodbye. As soon as the more modest dress code is in place, this gun show’s over.

I’m not the only one calling for an appropriate level of panic. Throughout his first term, Obama didn’t only raise taxes, he raised suspicion. According to conspiracy theories, POTUS has done everything from getting a suspicious nose job, marrying a Pakistani guy, teleporting to Mars, being a lizard person, to coming for our guns.

But is a conspiracy theory still just a theory when our actions validate it? On Jan. 16, Obama presented his plan to get rid of all of our guns. How does he plan on doing it? By requiring background checks for all gun sales, reinstating the ban on military-style assault weapons like the ones used in Newtown, Conn. and Aurora, Colo.

One store owner told reporters that he sold five or six AR-15s in November, and 55 in December. The report states that gun stores are running low on weapons because of the surge in sales. Here you have a tyrant who seems hell-bent on taking our weapons, and suddenly they begin to disappear from store shelves. Coincidence? I think not…

Store-goers weren’t the only ones overcome by passion. A viral Internet video posted by Tactical Response CEO James Yeager urges people to “pack backpack with some food in it” because it’s almost time to fight another Civil War. In the video Yeager says, “I’m not gonna let my country be ruled by a dictator … if it goes one inch further, I’m gonna start killing people.”

I fail to see the benefit of taking away this man’s assault weapons. You maybe think Yeager is blowing things all out of proportion, but soon enough, we won’t be able to blow up anything at all.

Yeager and conspiracy theorists are asking the questions other people are too afraid to ask.

Radio host Alex Jones defended guns in an interview against Piers Morgan. Like Yeager, Jones also warned of war, but his war of choice was the Revolutionary War, saying, “1776 will commence again if you take our firearms!” And like a true patriot, Jones stormed through the rest of the interview shooting down any questions baby-faced Piers tried to trip him up with. When asked to compare the gun-related deaths in the U.S. to those in the U.K., Jones responded, “How many chimpanzees can dance on the head of a pin?” Yes, asking the questions that really need to be asked in such an important national debate.

After seeing Yeager, Jones and many others questioning the sincerity of our government’s intentions, I started to ask some questions of my own…

Reading article after article, everything started to run together. I had to have read the name “Barack Obama” hundreds of times over — then it hit me. His name is an anagram for “Akbar cab amo.” To most people this means absolutely nothing. But if you try mightily, you might just be able to find a meaning — I did. “Akbar” is the Arabic word for “bigger.” Fitting, since Obama is really a Muslim. “Cab?” Why “cab?” Well, it’s no secret that Arabs drive cabs. But why a bigger cab? Hmmm … perhaps for more “amo,” or ammunition — his spelling isn’t so good because Arabic was his first language.

But if you rearrange the president’s full name, Barack Hussein Obama, you’ll find a much more disturbing meaning: “Run amok as I esc baha.” Run amok? You mean like we’ve already been doing as this nation’s people continue to panic, fight each other (and in some cases, accidentally shoot each other) after a series of tragic shootings, instead of come together to find a proper solution? “As I esc, baha.” As I “escape,” meanwhile the president is getting away with this and laughing, “baha.”

 The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Imagination is so powerful that it can move us to action, and no one is better at dreaming than we Americans.