Egomaniacs, we all know them and we all become them sometimes. I struggle with this from time to time and see it at alarming rates around me—I notice egotism so much because I am typically affronted by it.
As a society, we have grown to become so self-centered that it offends us when people suggest that their daily trials and tribulations make them superior beings. All around me, I see that empathy is at an all-time low.
Egocentric tendencies cause people to over-prioritize their personal struggles compared to other people. Everyone has tough situations; it’s not unique to anyone. Living a life with a chip on your shoulder because you think your life is more difficult than anyone else causes you to alienate yourself from others, and quite honestly make you really annoying to others around you.
I know people who cannot admit that anyone else has had to overcome more or work harder. For me growing up, hard work was an absolute expectation, not something to be praised for. And by hard work, I mean doing what is expected, such as chores, schoolwork and fulfilling all the requirements of my part-time jobs and extracurricular activities. I don’t think this is hard-work or that it was easy compared to the real world. Every single student has put in varying degrees of effort to be where they are right now and they are not unique for it.
We are more egocentric and self-centered compared to the generations before us, according to a new study by Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. Twenge said this trend is harmful for personal relationships and society. People becoming increasingly egocentric results in a breakdown in close relationships—this is a direct result of necessary respect for others being thrown out the window.
A little bit of egocentrism is healthy and necessary to become successful and confident. However, refusing to empathize can make one extremely unhappy. Whenever I am going through something that I perceive as difficult, I think of a situation which is worse, and this perspective makes me understand that I am lucky regardless of my daily difficulties.
This is not a call to devalue our self-worth, just to reevaluate our relationships and the opinions we have of others. For example, if you believe yourself to better than your friends or significant others, you need to ask yourself the motives behind these relationships. Finding many faults in others and constantly holding yourself above others is indicative of personal failings such as who you choose to be in close relationships with and how you value others’ worth. These things lend insight toward discovering shortcomings, so you can improve yourself.
Stop yourself before you assert that you and your personal struggles are any more difficult or hard to manage than what others are going through. The only way to build honest and mutual benefiting relationships is on a platform of respect and value of the other person, as well as yourself.
