As I scrolled aimlessly through my Facebook timeline, yet another BuzzFeed link caught my attention. The title was “21 Ways Your Sister is Really Your Best Friend.” A friend of mine had posted it on her little sister’s page. As someone with a younger sister, of course I clicked it and spent 10 minutes reading and laughing, thinking, “That’s so true!” to the 21 points. Each thing stated was funny and sappy and created to remind the reader of just how great it is to have a sister.
The author of this and similar listicles on BuzzFeed probably hopes the reader will find the post relatable and then post it on the timeline of a friend or family member who might also find it relatable. It is a great idea because people do just that. It seems everyone needs to know the 87 reasons why moms are the only friends needed or the 32 best things about friends made in college. It also seems that this is an easy way to show people that we care about them via someone else’s words. This type of online reading is fun and a great distraction. However, the way it is used as a way to connect emotionally with others shows how unwilling people can be to express feelings with those for whom they care. It also shows that it is easier to post a link onto someone’s page than it is to articulate face-to-face why he or she is a part of a special relationship.
The obsession with online sources as a means of communicating feelings for others shows that many are incapable of expressing genuine appreciation for the relationships in their lives. It does not mean that the appreciation is not there, only that, with the increasing reliance on social media for expressing personal thoughts and feelings, it is now used as a means to express care for others too.
At times, social media can be a good outlet for feelings, but when it comes to any relationship, there needs to be communication between the people face-to-face, or over the phone when expressing feelings of appreciation and love. A BuzzFeed link might be a nice gesture, but it is not a replacement for real contact and real words that come from personal, unique thoughts. Perhaps posting a link with the purpose of showing the care one has for someone actually shows a person’s inability to express the way he or she feels.
Relying on social media or someone else’s words from articles to express true feelings about someone is toxic for relationships. Doing so can prohibit real conversations from happening. It is a cheap way to tell someone that he or she is valuable. It is not enough to post these and expect someone to know that he or she is an important person in one’s life. Real conversations need to take place. It is hard, and it can be scary, but it is vital for authentic relationships that function outside of social media.
Ultimately, solid relationships with others are unrivaled in value. They should be treated as such. People need to be told face-to-face original thoughts and feelings that express the care that is had for them. No article can ever wholly articulate the value of a person. So before posting another article on someone’s wall, why not call that person and tell them the ways that they make life better. I am sure that it will hold more meaning for them than any article ever could.
