Elyse Boldizar headshot
Back in high school, I never anticipated feeling homesick once it was time to pack up and leave home. College was always this exciting new experience I was looking forward to, sparkling in the future. As someone who has always valued independence, I couldn’t wait. But, as I quickly found out, the transition to college was harder than I imagined.
According to NBC, more than two-thirds of all college freshmen experience homesickness. In the midst of making new friends, decorating your dorm and getting ready for classes, it’s common for students to feel overwhelmed with the big change. The change can be even more drastic and difficult for international students who moved far from their family and friends.
Homesickness is defined as a feeling of yearning for what’s familiar, typically marked by feelings of anxiety and depression. Students feel varying levels of homesickness: some experience insomnia, loss of appetite and difficulty focusing — while others might not feel homesick at all. Still, homesickness is a prevalent experience on a college campus.
Despite how common it is, there is still pressure to stop feeling this way. It’s drilled into our heads: this is supposed to be the best time of our lives. We have heard countless stories from our parents, friends and family’s “good ol’ college days.” For many, homesickness is closely followed by guilt for not enjoying college as much as you feel you should. I remember the overwhelming excitement I felt once I arrived at NC State, but I also remember how much a part of me missed (and still misses) the familiarity of my hometown.
As students, it’s important we let go of the guilt surrounding missing home. It does nothing to alleviate us from feeling homesick and, instead, makes us feel worse. As reported by clinical psychologists and health professors, the best way to get rid of homesickness is to normalize it. Reminding ourselves of how normal and temporary these feelings are can help us grow out of them. The Counseling Center also has many resources for students struggling with homesickness, including drop-in spaces to connect with others on campus.
While it’s paramount that we give ourselves the time and mental space to overcome our homesickness, a big way to overcome these feelings is by getting involved. On a big campus like NC State, it’s easy to feel lost in the crowds. The sheer amount of opportunities can be overwhelming, especially when you’re craving familiarity.
One way that makes campus feel a little more like home is to seek out small places on or around campus that you love. For me, it’s running at Pullen Park or studying outside Caldwell Hall — back when it was warmer, of course. Finding the perfect tree to sit under while reading, enjoying a quiet evening in Park Shops, traveling up to Möge Tee on Hillsborough Street for delicious boba — getting to know campus in small ways has made me feel much more comfortable in college.
Whether these spaces are for studying, hanging out with new friends or grabbing a bite to eat, actively carving out time for exploring campus and finding places I love has made college feel a lot more personal. Along the way I have made new friends which have further soothed feelings of homesickness. Place by place, the campus becomes more familiar, and the guilt and shame wears off.