Everyone has likely experienced a conversation where another person diverts from the topic to rehash a traumatic event. While it seems inappropriate to discuss trauma in certain settings, it’s important to recognize that this is often a coping mechanism that should be met with empathy rather than criticism.
Trauma dumping refers to the instances when an individual talks about their traumatic life experiences with someone who may not feel comfortable discussing such sensitive topics. It often reflects negatively on the person sharing and can create barriers to building new relationships.
Trauma dumping indicates that the individual is still processing through their experiences and is seeking validation for their emotional turmoil. The coping mechanism can make recovering from trauma more difficult when it causes negative emotions to resurface or when the person on the receiving end responds unfavorably.
Social media platforms often function as breeding grounds for trauma dumping with many users sharing their traumatic experiences in vivid detail as a way of connecting with their followers. Social media users may feel like they are being raw and open, but the reality is they are exposing intimate details of their lives to complete strangers.
Trauma dumping can lead people to form inaccurate assumptions about the person sharing purely based on the atypical and unfortunate experiences they’ve had. When one shares painful details about one’s life with an unfamiliar person, one runs the risk of being misunderstood and potentially ostracized.
Oversharing can elicit a host of negative thoughts and emotions for the person on the receiving end as well. Trauma dumping can be anxiety-provoking to those who struggle with talking about emotions, can create guilt over having a comparatively less traumatic past and can cause people to worry about needing to walk on eggshells in the future.
There is also potential for trauma dumping to be triggering to a person with similar traumatic experiences, inadvertently causing distress for the listener. It’s difficult for people to establish which subjects are off-limits when they pertain to a painful experience.
Of course, there is a difference between venting and trauma dumping. Venting refers to when you discuss your experiences with a willing participant at a time and place where the conversation is appropriate.
Whether a person’s rant would classify as venting or trauma dumping doesn’t negate the hardships they are dealing with. What matters is that you respond in a way that respects your boundaries while protecting the other person from being emotionally vulnerable.
One of the best things you can do if you get caught in a trauma-dumping session is to acknowledge the person’s experience to let them know their struggles do not go unnoticed. People might trauma dump when they feel overlooked; by validating their emotions, you can positively influence their healing process.
You don’t even need to call someone out for trauma dumping. Just let them know they are seen and heard.
The next step should be to establish boundaries so that your future conversations take on more appropriate courses. It’s important to be honest if you’re overwhelmed by talking about traumatic subjects as the other person may not realize that their trauma elicits discomfort.
It never hurts to suggest support resources to those who trauma dump. Therapy and support groups are essentially trauma-dumping arenas with the benefit of mental health professionals equipped with resources to guide people through their healing.
If a person’s trauma dumping becomes triggering, remove yourself from the situation. You must protect yourself from having to relive painful memories, even if that means you come across as impolite by exiting the conversation.
Everyone processes trauma differently; some choose to openly discuss their trauma while others prefer keeping things to themselves. Either way, their experiences and emotions are completely valid.
Likewise, establishing boundaries is a valid response to trauma dumping and prevents uncomfortable conversations from happening in the future.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of a trauma dump session, keep this dialectic in mind: You can have sympathy for the person’s experiences and simultaneously set limits to the conversation to respect your personal boundaries.
