It’s 8 a.m. on a Monday morning, and you’ve just spilled your coffee on your brand new, overpriced shirt. After changing, you make the journey to your car and your dashboard lights up. Low tire pressure? Great. You’re running late as is, so you decide this is a 4 p.m. problem. 

Now that you’re on auto-pilot, as you reach the roundabout, you expect the rapidly approaching car to proceed straight through. When you launch to the right they manage to make the loop on two wheels and lay on the horn as you speed out of their way. Could this morning get any worse?

Cue the self-reflection and self-deprecation spiral to determine what you did to deserve this start to the week. You know the driver is cursing your name to their shotgun rider.

But what if they weren’t? 

We’ve heard the cliche, “Give them the benefit of the doubt,” for years. We may be asking: Who are they? Why do they deserve it? Therein lies the point: It doesn’t matter. The idea is to extend this benefit regardless of who is on the receiving end, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because you do.

According to Cambridge Dictionary, to give someone the benefit of the doubt means “to believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either.”

We have the opportunity to practice this every day, often more than once. 

You didn’t know it, but that waiter who didn’t enthusiastically ask about your day just had to put his dog down that morning. However, you did know this was within the realm of possibility, so you decided to tip anyway and leave a note on the receipt wishing him a great week. That one little move could shift someone’s entire mindset, even if only for the day. 

Making a habit out of this practice is beneficial for everyone involved. On the one hand, you can be responsible for making someone feel appreciated or valued. You’ll never know when someone is approaching a breaking point, and you never want to look back and know you contributed to their distress. You don’t want to realize later you could have made them believe good people are all around, looking out for one another. 

On the other hand, we all know how it feels to wish someone had given you the benefit of the doubt. When someone extends this courtesy to you, it can make a world of a difference on your worst day. 

So, let’s say the Monday morning roundabout incident resulted in the other person slowing down and accepting the fact that you pulled out in front of them. No expletives, no road rage, no tailgating. Just acceptance. This person doesn’t have to start their morning holding a grudge. 

They chose to believe there was no malicious intent and it was a pure accident. After all, what did they gain from becoming enraged at someone they don’t know, won’t speak to and will likely never see again? 

You free up your mind when you’re not busy assigning mini-grudges to others throughout the day. People who let go of baseless anger are happier — plain and simple.

Let’s all spend this week being conscious of what it takes to anger us and how often we don’t wait for someone to explain their actions. Be kind enough to yourself to give others the benefit of the doubt.