The phrase “college is the best four years of your life” echoes in the minds of many young college students, mine included. I’m a third-year, and it seemingly takes five to seven business days to plan a night out with my friends.
My college experience has been nothing like what I was promised.
Times have changed. What happened to spontaneity? More often than not, my plan suggestions get shot down or straight-up ignored. Several of my friends have canceled our dinner plans hours beforehand. All the talk of wild nights with friends and building dad lore feel more and more out of reach as the semesters go by.
Before I go any further, I’ll clarify that I love my friends and respect their decision not to go out, but I wasn’t expecting this reaction in college.
I’m not known to be a partier, and I came to college expecting to be the curmudgeon who shuts down plans. The fact that I’ve been the one suggesting ideas and persuading my friends shocks me.
On my 21st birthday, a majority of my friends only stayed for the pregame, and only two made it to downtown Raleigh with me.
A few weeks ago, I invited one of my friends out on a Friday night. His response? He hates going out. I was told that’s not supposed to be the response until after I graduate.
NC State’s Yik Yak posts about traditional college activities get downvoted and attacked, which tells me it’s not just my friends and more of a pattern than my own isolated experience.
Not being able to go out on a weeknight is understandable. But even weekend plans have become rare, and once plans are officially in place, we don’t go out for very long.
It’s not exclusive to partying, either. Even brunches or coffee runs are impossible to organize. Don’t get me wrong — I tend to stay in too, but I’d like to go out on occasion.
Alone time is healthy when properly balanced with an active social life, but, like with anything, too much alone time can be detrimental to one’s health. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy found that around half of U.S. adults experience severe loneliness.
The effects of loneliness extend beyond boredom. Isolation can cause heart problems, dementia and a range of other issues.
Unfortunately, outings have steadily become more expensive, so it can be hard to think of budget-friendly activities with friends.
The good news is that inexpensive activities are possible to find. Raleigh has an Azalea Garden and farmer’s market if you’re looking for daytime activities. Dinner plans don’t have to be expensive either; Coco Bongo offers tacos for less than $2 on Tuesdays.
Disregarding expenses, some of this loneliness among young adults is self-inflicted. Post-COVID, Gen-Z has struggled with socializing and prefers staying home to minimize the risk of feeling awkward. Luckily, outings don’t have to revolve around partying or big crowds, but could be as simple as going to lunch with a friend or small group.
Compared to what everyone told me about college, the reality hasn’t lived up to expectations. Partying doesn’t have to — and shouldn’t — consume every waking hour, but I’m disappointed with how it’s hardly consumed any at all. This is the perfect time for us to go out and have fun, but it seems like we’re prematurely acting like grandparents.
