We all know someone who has had their eyes set on a PhD since the day they could read or a friend who was determined to go professional as soon as they stepped onto the football field freshman year of high school. Maybe that person is you. Whoever it may be, chances are we spent years admiring their focus and drive, but did we ever question the cost of what they were sacrificing to pursue those goals?
Among the thicket of hurdles we face in life, there’s a reminder of why everyone needs a sense of direction and an ultimate goal to work towards. Suffice it to say, most of us do need that sense of direction to derive a feeling of purpose, especially during these pivotal years. After all, it’s no coincidence that we were all brought together by NC State because we are here to pursue a chosen career.
These years in university play an integral role in determining what comes next, so the hard work that goes into them is justified. However, I’d wager that adhering too tightly to your goals is just as likely to hold you back as having none at all.
Overloading your semesters with honors courses, research, extracurriculars and the societies that your relatives convinced you were mandatory can mean you miss out on the intramural league that you’ve had your eye on for two semesters. Maybe you were so set on that internship that you skipped Thursday night line dancing for the fifth week in a row to fine-tune your resume.
Your goals can fuel you, but the culmination of sacrifices you make to pursue them can rob you of incredible experiences, some of which you could learn just as much from and make double the memories with.
Go on the ski trip and strike up that conversation with a stranger on the lift ride. You might find them reciting your dream job and how to pursue it when you ask what they do. Ask that former classmate how they were able to work on the other side of the country last summer and if it was worth giving up the chance to intern before junior year — I could guess her answer.
Make time to try the things that you are certain you’ll fail at, because setting out on a new adventure without a thing to lose is beyond liberating. Keep moving, trying, learning and enjoying where you are at. Hard work will pay off, but nothing like if it were paired with an open mind and a past rich with experiences.
We should all set tentative goals. The guidance they can offer is reassuring. However, most of us know what it’s like to pour everything we have into something that never comes to fruition.
That person who had their eyes set on a PhD may have to drop out of school to take care of a sick parent. The friend who always planned to play professional football could tear their ACL during their last collegiate season. I’m sure neither of them were wishing they had skipped that pottery class or backpacking trip to invest more time into those goals when their realities shifted on a dime.
In a society that glorifies “hustle culture” and the idea of pushing oneself to the physical and mental breaking point, we have to evaluate what makes sense for us as individuals. Our lives and the plans we make are so fragile, and you can either let that terrify you or set you free.
We aren’t meant to be one-dimensional creatures with the sole purpose of achieving and making ourselves, or others, proud 24/7. We are curious, creative and multifaceted. It would serve us well to lean into that, and every once in a while, just exist.
