I love driving my car, but more than that, I love parking it. But recently, I had an experience that nearly turned me away from my favorite pastime. Last week, I had parked in a spot I hadn’t realized wasn’t part of my designated lot. I was given a warning ticket. 

How dare.

I should’ve been fined $40. No, the standard $60. Actually, we should calculate for inflation, $98.66. 

Frankly, NC State should be ashamed that it doesn’t deal harsher punishments for parking offenses, and I believe I have some solutions.

As I’ve already touched on, parking outside of designated lots is a huge problem here at State. It’s like every student thinks they’re entitled to have a place to put their car if they drive here. Ever heard of walking? I’m from Durham, and I try to walk most days to Raleigh. It only takes about nine hours, but my calves look amazing. 

Though, if I’m feeling lazy I might take the bus. My friends from Charlotte swear by it, and it only takes about two to three hours for them. Just don’t say I didn’t give you any alternatives.

If you live off-campus because you were unable to get housing and you seem to think you need a car for transportation, you’re actually wrong. If you couldn’t tell by the hundreds of roundabouts and crumbling sidewalks, Raleigh is a very walkable city.

First, I propose that we institute decoy parking. Constructing another parking deck on campus would be a stellar way to ticket students more frequently. State wouldn’t even need to ask parking enforcement to drive around campus, instead they could ticket them as they drive out.

Regarding where we should build it, I think a new parking deck would fit beautifully in Stafford Commons. It’s right next to Talley, the train tracks, the bus stop and other parking stops. It may be a bit congested, but the students will manage.

Each ticket should also increase in cost the more you get. If you fail to pay for parking or park in the wrong lot, you’ll face a $40 dollar fee. It’ll increase by $15 after each subsequent ticket. If you cannot pay your tickets, then you can volunteer your time to ticket other students.

I do understand that sometimes the lots can fill up before a student can park there. To remedy that, I will push for Wolfpack Outfitters to begin selling tow hooks so that students may tow each other’s cars. Students would have to immediately call and alert parking that this was done so that they can be ticketed.

But I don’t think this goes far enough. Some students will continue to park in other spots even after they’ve been given their multiple citations.

From now on, if you fail to pay a ticket and continue to park on campus, your car will be towed out to the train tracks. An email will be sent two hours later after your car has been decimated by an Amtrak train.

I am still sympathetic to student needs. So parking on campus will still be accessible, so long as you can prove that you need it. This entails filling out eight forms, recording the entire journey of walking from your home to campus, helping to ticket at least five other students, and howling at the belltower from sunrise to sunset. Think of it like pledging for a frat.

And of course the decoy lot will still be accessible without fees. You can park there on weekends so long as there isn’t an event and you’re parked for two hours or less.

If you take issue with any of the changes I’ve suggested, please take it out specifically on the NC State Transportation Department since the people enforcing the rules are most definitely the ones who made them. The institution that came up with these rules is just a small public university doing it’s best to make as much money as it can on students who need a place for their cars.