Last summer, a favorite band of mine was playing in Lincoln Theatre. I had planned to attend with a friend who lives in Wilmington, but a few days before the concert he told me he wouldn’t be able to make it.
I immediately scanned my contact list to find someone who would be willing to take his spot. Turns out, no one was that excited to cough up $20 for a band they didn’t know.
A few hours before the concert was set to start, I still had no game plan. The idea of going to a concert alone was not only foreign, but also daunting.
Well, I thought, it can’t be all that bad. So there I went, on my very first solo concert adventure with a nervous stomach and clammy hands.
In the Atrium and at Talley, those eating alone make sure others know that while they may be dining alone at that moment, they are not in fact alone in the world. Laptops out, phones on tables, anything to avoid the sad and pitying glance from those surrounded by others. It’s remarkable how everyone seems to have something pressing to do on their phones in the minutes before class starts.
We are set on seeming connected to others at all times. All this is unnecessary. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone.
Perhaps we are afraid others will see being alone as a representation of our day-to-day lives, that we are always alone because no one cares about us. Or maybe it signals that something must be awfully wrong with our personhood if no one is willing to share common space with us.
With a thousand and one ways to remain in contact with the world, to be disconnected at any point now seems to be some taboo thing of the past. We are expected and trained to answer calls during meals, to dine at fancy restaurants only in the company of others, to respond to business emails on the weekends, to watch the latest movies with a crowd, to bring in New Year’s with a big party, to take a date to the prom and to update our profile picture on Facebook after big life events.
To not partake in the socially acceptable forms of these occurrences marks one as a loner in need of a pal or two.
But being alone is not the same thing as being lonely.
Being alone means being OK with the only company guaranteed to never part ways with you: yourself. And because this is so, it is probably best one gets comfortable with oneself.
Being alone is not being afraid to allow your mind to wander in thought without interruption. It is allowing yourself to reflect without outside influence. It is being able to simply exist in a moment without others.
If one is not able to do so, life begins to revolve solely on perception and soon enough one’s reality is only based and formed around the realities of others and that is simply no way to live.
Turns out, watching Fitz and The Tantrums playing live is just as wonderful when enjoyed alone as when in a group.
Take time to be alone and allow others the freedom to do the same without judgment. Have a meal on your own, go for a stroll by yourself or enjoy your favorite band’s concert unaccompanied. One doesn’t have to be loneliest number that you ever do if you grow to enjoy your own company.
