Romantic relationships come with a number of traditions and rituals that both parties involved are expected to fulfill. In a heterosexual relationship it is expected that the guy will pick the girl up, take her to coffee, dinner or a movie, and he will pay for everything.
The tradition of the man paying on the first date is more outdated than VCRs and is just about as useful.
Something happens in that exchange of cash. Intentional or not, the act of having a guy cover the cost of going out with a girl carries more weight than can be counted in dollars.
Regardless of how the date is going, when a guy insists on paying the bill, the girl is probably more inclined to reciprocate in some form. It may be demonstrated in a willingness to hold hands, an obligation to laugh at crappy jokes or maybe even a kiss goodnight. It needs to stop. No one should have to feel indebted for having been taken out on a date.
Ladies, allowing a guy to pay on the first date sets a precedent. Fulfilling this ritual implies that a guy must impress a girl monetarily and that to show interest, he must be willing to pay the price. And if he pays for the first date, what does that mean for future dates? Has he lost interest because you’ve decided to split the bill after the first date? Did he decide you’re not the one because you start taking turns paying the bill? Is he no longer trying to impress you because he isn’t paying for every single thing? It’s rare these concerns come to fruition, so we as a society shouldn’t be so unwilling to waver on this silly and old-fashioned rule.
Couples who have been together for a significant amount of time often no longer conform to the tradition of having the guy pay for everything. They are comfortable with each other to the point of understanding that there’s nothing to be afraid of in splitting the cost of going out together. We should be able to reach this level of comfort from the start.
If a guy pays for dinner just because it’s what he feels like he must do, the thoughtfulness of the experience is obliterated. Girls would be offended if a guy offered them an envelope of cash after a first date to show interest, but in essence, that is what happens when a guy feels he must pay for a date. Girls shouldn’t have to be thankful that guys are interested in them. If things do work out, it would be nice to think both parties benefit from the relationship equally. There’s little upholding the innate value of having a guy foot the bill for taking a girl on a date.
Let’s be honest. Most of us are full-time college students making meager pocket change. The burden of paying for dates shouldn’t rest entirely on one partner. It is a social norm as old as dust. Girls, you shouldn’t feel entitled to have your meal paid for, and guys, you can’t buy genuine interest. So next time, let us avoid the awkward dance of who is going to pay.
