Spring is quickly approaching, and we all know what that means: One engagement and wedding after another. Phrases such as “Ring by Spring” and “MRS Degree” make me cringe, but I have to admit that there is some accuracy to them. It seems like more and more college-aged people are getting engaged and married while also taking 15 credit hours and preparing for graduation. Maybe love is in the air, maybe not. But really, it makes us ask: “What is the rush?”
Marriage is a cool thing; I think most people can agree with that. Two people joining together to live no longer as separate, single units, but as a united couple is one of the greatest things that can happen in life. But it’s also easy to agree that our culture has gone overboard on selling marriage to us. Is marriage a great, exciting and worthy thing to devote oneself to? As a single person, I’m hoping and assuming so. But is it the most important thing about life? Probably not. There is a lot of happiness to be found outside of marriage, it’s just never really talked about.
Unfortunately, our culture gives the impression that a person’s happiness in life is entirely dependent on marriage, or a romantic relationship. It is presented this way in many forms of entertainment and most people believe it. There are so many people who plan the rest of their lives around when they want to get married, when it should be the other way around. Marriage is a part of life, but it is not the purpose of life.
Of course, having the desire to get married is not a bad thing. But when that is the only desire a person has, so much of life is missed out on. If marriage is the sole focus, once a person is married, then what? Goal accomplished, but what else is there? Happiness comes in other forms and should be pursued as such before marriage. Otherwise, there is going to be a lot of disappointment when a person reaches the only goal they’ve ever had and is left dissatisfied.
More time should be devoted to exploring interests and living as an individual before being tied to someone permanently. Before becoming a couple, be an individual. A lot of older couples who married young become restless and feel the extreme need to travel and have experiences that they did not get to have. They feel as though they missed out on a lot of life because their only focus was to get married.
One of my teachers from high school frequently said, “You have the rest of your life to be married. You probably don’t have the rest of it to be single.” When first hearing this, I thought that it was pretty dumb. But, then I thought about it again and decided that it is actually pretty good advice. There is a lot of opportunity out there as an unmarried person. Of course there will still be opportunities after marriage, but there is definitely a shift in the type of opportunities and potentially a decrease as well. Before getting married, take advantage of the experiences that singleness offers. Make the most of being single and experience things as an individual before getting married. Spending your singleness, or unmarried time, wishing you were married is not only a waste of opportunities, but it’s also a really good way to be miserable too.
