Disclaimer: The Ivory Belltower is purely satirical. Don’t take it too seriously.
A protest erupted on NC State’s campus Nov. 24 in response to a story written in The Ivory Belltower. Jeffery Dingledorff, a senior studying pre-industrial era engineering, shook his fist in complete righteous anger as he waved a picket sign stating, “save our school,” in all capital letters.
Dingledorff protested after mistakenly believing that an article that ran as a satire piece was true. The article in question titled, “Why the university needs to be shut down effective immediately,” chronicled the made-up story by Patty McPatrick, who had a really bad day that included: finding an old Band-Aid in a library book, not enjoying Fountain Dining Hall’s cheeseburgers and getting an ‘F’ on a paper she didn’t even submit. McPatrick cited all of these reasons for shutting down campus.
Many students mimicked Dingledorff’s outrage and gathered with him outside of the chancellor’s office in Holladay Hall. Some students carried posters and pickets like their ringleader Dingledorff and others simply screamed and cried loudly. All 10 of the students who took part in the protest showed extreme levels of dedication: some skipped class; some skipped tests; and one even skipped the birth of his firstborn in order to protest this issue.
Lonnie Lonalingle, a sophomore in palmistry, when asked about her involvement with the protest, said, “No, I haven’t read the article, but I support Jeffery, and I support not shutting down the university.”
Dingledorff said, “Patty’s article is clear proof as to why free speech needs to be limited on college campuses across the nation — her words have poisoned our academic environment, and we take her claims against the university very seriously.”
A dumbfounded McPatrick in a phone interview disputed any harm meant against her school and even encouraged students to read her article as well as the disclaimers that went with it.
“Some brands of satire contain truth in them, and others are just stupid,” explained McPatrick. “Mine is among the latter.”
More than 50 other students, disgruntled alumni and parents who just won’t let go, joined in on the protest by taking to the Internet. The comments section under the protested article quickly became overrun with nearly 100 comments, which were freckled with swear words, all caps and plenty of philosophical arguments clearly copy and pasted straight off of Reddit.
A few commentators seem to be just your average Internet trolls, but many protestors are taking their remarks very seriously. One alumnus with the username, “FedoraTheExplora,” gravely requested that everyone involved with the satire be fired.
McPatrick was asked for any final comments regarding these grievous charges against her, and she just shook her head in a depressed manner that was so palpable that one could sense it through the phone.
