“She’s such a psycho.” “It was so hard, I wanted to kill myself.” “He’s so bipolar sometimes.” 

The language we use in everyday conversations says a lot about how we think about mental illnesses. It says we don’t recognize the importance of mental health, and at some level it says we are unsympathetic. 

One in five adults suffers from a mental illness, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The number is higher and growing among college students. One in three college students reported prolonged periods of depression, and half of students rated their mental health below average or poor, according to NAMI. Experiencing mental illness is not uncommon, nor is it something to be ashamed of, and although many of us are aware of this, our language and our actions might suggest otherwise. 

North Carolina cut $110 million from its eight regional mental health agencies in late September, undermining the necessity of comprehensive mental health care. A few days later, mental health advocacy groups drew attention to a Halloween store in Crabtree Valley Mall that was selling a blood-spattered costume with the words “Dorothea Dix Psych Ward” written on it — perpetuating a stereotype that mental illnesses are synonymous with violence. 

When people do offer support for those experiencing mental illnesses, it is often misguided. We tell them to relax, calm down, everything will be OK. Pro-gun politicians conveniently discuss a need for more mental health support in the face of tragedy so as to avoid talking about a need for gun control, yet they are often the same politicians who do not provide sufficient funding for mental health support. 

Language shapes our perceptions, and in the case of casually referencing suicidal thoughts and mental disorders, it adds to the stigma and can lead people to shy away from seeking help. 

In the face of yet another mass shooting and in the middle of the NAMI’s mental illness awareness week, mental health is at the forefront of our minds. We need to change how we talk about mental illnesses by (1) actually talking about them and (2) talking about them respectfully. The words we use matter, and they may be the difference between someone seeking help and suffering silently. We need to remember that people are not their illnesses, and we need to be cautious of our word choices — not in the name of political correctness, but in the name of empathy.