It’s been a little less than a week since I began my quest to become N.C. State University’s next student body president and the reaction on campus is mixed. Most students are very supportive – offering up monetary contributions and volunteering down at campaign headquarters.
Unfortunately some just don’t like the idea of a Payne presidency. A UNC-Chapel Hill student took particular interest in my candidacy on her blog. Apparently I am a “washed-up guy who’s ‘barely’ a student…with no life.”
But it’s nothing I didn’t predict, of course with the help polling conducted by my overpaid political consultants. They are urging me to respond with negative attack ads.
Does anybody know how much a thirty second commercial spot on Wolf-Bytes TV costs? I won’t let these vicious attacks on my character, obviously orchestrated by my opponents, stop me from living out the lavish lifestyle of the student body president.
I am hoping that NCSU Campus Police will begin providing protective services to the major candidates for student body president. Unlike my opponents (a popular phrase in a politician’s lexicon) I’m going to tell you the truth. In other words I’m going to tell you what you want to hear.
Now, onto the planks of my platform. I apologize in advance if it takes a couple of columns to fully reveal my platform. There are only so many words my editors will allow me to eat up on the opinion page.
First plank – alcohol equity. What is alcohol equity? It’s my plan to give students the same rights as other members of the campus community who use and abuse alcohol. Ever watched a men’s basketball game in one of the luxury boxes at the RBC Center? Well, luxury box patrons are able to consume alcohol during games. They are supposed to “stop” drinking 30 minutes prior to game time. Trust me; this doesn’t stop them for throwing down a few beers and cocktails.
The rule is the same for luxury suite owners in the Vaughn Towers. The policy, set forth by the NCSU Board of Trustees, is supposed to side step Atlantic Coast Conference rules governing the sale and consumption of alcohol during athletic events. The Trustees figure if rich white alumni are going to pay all that money for a suite they should at least be granted their God given right to drink.
But what does it really mean? It means that students and other regular fans are not as important as a few influential individuals. Campus police and security personnel go out of their way to prevent students from drinking. Random searches, cameras, secret wire taps, you name it. The bottom line – students aren’t equals.
Of course administrators will point to the prohibition 30 minutes prior to game time. Don’t, because I am no idiot. All I have to do is point to the Centennial Authority. The Centennial Authority is the board that owns and governs. It’s made up of politicians, trustees and the chancellor.
So if anyone is to adhere to rules governing alcohol use during a game it would be the Centennial Authority – right? No.
I spent some time in the Centennial Authority’s box during a game and let me just say they had no problems sucking down some cold ones. It is time for alcohol equity.
Second plank – bring back the cannon to football games. Upperclassmen (and women) will remember the famous cannon, which was fired after every Wolfpack score. But for some reason, after the 2003 season the cannon was silenced. Was the cannon drafted into service for the war in Iraq?
Why bring it back? Why does such an issue warrant the attention of a major candidate for student body president? I am not one who is normally superstitious but since the cannon’s absence from home football games our team hasn’t been…well let’s just say not that good. Granted we did make it to the George Foreman Grill Bowl.
By the way, for those of you who are a little slow; George Foreman is the spokesperson for Meineke Car Care. As any discerning voter can see, the next student body president holds in their hands the fate of Wolfpack football.
There’s more. Until next time.