Religion, family, morals and desire can be factors in an individual’s view on premarital sex.

Despite a person’s stance on premarital sex, the issue is bound to come up in a relationship. For certain college students it is important to wait until marriage. For others it is important to wait to be in a deeply committed relationship or at least like the person. For the rest, the seriousness of the relationship does not directly influence their decisions.

“You should at least be dating the person or feel seriously about them,” Kim Gobac, a senior in biological sciences, said. “It’s not a one night thing — you meet them. You sleep with them — that’s just irresponsible. People think that you’re a whore just because you sleep with people, but if you’re responsible about it I don’t know what’s wrong with it, but I do think it’s wrong to sleep with everyone you can.”

In addition, Gobac thinks there are societal pressures, especially on women, to wait until their 20s.

Gobac, who did not wait until marriage, said she would like to wait up to a month, but after the losing her virginity she doesn’t believe it’s necessary to wait as long. She said she regrets losing her virginity to the man she did because he forced her into it. She said she was 15 and he was 19, but she learned to move past her regret.

“I would say that if they’re committed towards their relationship, know each other perfectly and have decided to live their life together, then there isn’t anything wrong with having sex,” Sagar Shapariya, a junior in business management, said. “I believe that the mature crowd believes in giving time to understand and know yourself as well as your partner, and I would say that be at least one year if not over.”

Jackie Gunn, a senior in arts applications, said shows such as Grey’s Anatomy and Sex in the City portray sex very casually.

“Back in history, typically people weren’t just sleeping around. In Sex in the City, people are just sleeping around,” Gunn, who did not wait until marriage, said. “It’s just too easy for a 16 year old to watch people having casual sex and for that to warp her values.”

Gobac attributes society’s change in sexual habits and behaviors over the decades to pop culture. “What we have on TV and in magazines are a lot different than what our parents had.”

Shapariya, a foreign exchange student from India who is waiting until marriage, said he has seen many changes in his own culture’s sexual behaviors and habits. He said his culture used to be much more conservative but that his generation is taking the issue of sex a lot less seriously.

“Recently, I have seen a big change in people of our generation in India. They are taking [sex] too casually and sometimes a bit more casually than people do here,” Shapariya said. “There was an article that I came across in the Times of India this summer. It was about the new youth and there were comments from kids in metropolitan cities such as Mumbai. One comment was that, ‘You’ll know who you are going to sleep with in the first 30 minutes you enter a club.'”

While the people waiting until marriage can be content with their decisions, others feel it is necessary to know if they are sexually compatible with the person before they say “I do.”

“Physical intimacy, including sex, is an important aspect of a relationship, so disregarding it can be detrimental,” Will Davis, a graduate student in mathematics, said. “Having a better idea of what you want in a life partner, including a sex partner, will make you more likely to find a compatible mate, and evaluating them before taking the ‘final plunge’ makes it more likely to work out.”

While students like Davis believe in the theory of test driving something before buying it, others don’t find it important, such as Anna Adams, a senior in history and religious studies.

“I have no method of comparison, so I wouldn’t know if it’s bad and I would hope that I would marry someone for more than the sexual relationship,” Adams, who is waiting until marriage to have sex, said. “It’s unlikely that [there wouldn’t be any sexual chemistry], but even if that happened I think I would love the person enough to say it’s not that big of a deal.”

Adams is a pastor’s daughter but said she does not directly attribute her father’s occupation to her decision to wait until marriage. Waiting until marriage is part of her world view but she does not believe not being a pastor’s daughter would have changed her point of view on this issue.

Even for Adams, who said she always knew she would wait, the decision took maturity and self-examination to truly realize her own views on the matter without simply accepting and regurgitating the views of her faith.

“At some point my religious faith became my own, and at that point I made the decision to wait until marriage,” Adams said. “Sex symbolizes that you are not two people anymore. It’s important to just respect my husband to save a very intimate moment. It’s a symbol of becoming one person in the lord.”

Shapariya said he was taught through religion that people should not look for other outlets to relieve sexual tensions and instead use inner-strength and self-control to suppress those feelings.

“I know a lot of people from my religion who indulge in a lot of things such as sex and drinking, which are not considered a part of the religion,” he said. “They also belong to very conservative family backgrounds that follow the religion by each and every word.”

Chris Ousley, a health education teacher and human sexuality professor, said he knows firsthand that religion is not always the primary factor in a student’s decision to have sex.

“From my perspective, there are plenty of people that want a long-term mate that don’t want to be married,” he said. “Some people say ‘you know, I’ve seen both my parents get married twice and this not a necessary event for me.'”

Ousley said, from what he has observed, the majority of his students want an emotional connection with their sexual partners. He believes when emotions are involved the sexual partners are more sexually satisfied.

He also said calling a man a “whore” usually does not affect his self-esteem as much as it does for a woman, and he thinks there is more of a pressure on women than men to maintain their virginity.

Despite how unfair the idea of the double standard is, it is still present in today’s society.

“It takes two to tango,” Shapariya said. “This concept is the same over all cultures that I have seen. No matter how liberal any religion is, the basics of double standards are the same.”

Despite these students’ views on premarital sex, they said they believe it is ultimately the decision of individuals whether they are going to have sex. Adams said her personal view is to wait until marriage, but she believes it is not anyone’s place to enforce those views on someone else. It is up to individuals to decide what is best for them, according to Adams.