She closes the door and turns toward him. With a half smile she approaches him. Strutting toward him, he watches her, never breaking eye contact.
She’s thinking about it.
And so is he.
In their minds, they question whether they should ask each other, as they begin to take off articles of clothing.
He pulls her in for another kiss and wonders. Does she want to? Should we?
Kissing him back, she thinks about it. Would it ruin this? Would he want to?
They continue to kiss, until he can’t hold back the words anymore.
“Should we put on a condom?” he asks, looking away from her face, scared he might have ruined the moment.
According to Ryan, a junior in agriculture, who did not want his last name published, it’s not an odd fear.
“It kind of kills the mood if you say, ‘hey stop a second, I got to put something on,'” Ryan said.
Gabriel, a sophomore in psychology, who did not want his last name published, agrees with Ryan that putting on a condom in the middle of foreplay breaks the mood. Gabriel said he doesn’t use a condom in the first few minutes of sex, then he puts one on.
“It’s establishing consent. You don’t want to put a condom on and go back to the bed and your girlfriend is like ‘what, we’re having sex?'” Gabriel said.
But Stephanie Sobol, Assistant Coordinator for Health Promotion, begs to differ.
“Putting on a condom doesn’t have to break the mood. It can be part of the foreplay,” Sobol said. “People can come up with any excuse they can not to use one.”
Gabriel also said condoms, although he uses them, “numb” the feeling. Ryan agreed that the use of one would decrease feeling during the activity.
But Sobol said when it comes to feeling, its better safe than sorry.
“Most people would say using a condom feels better than gonorrhea,” Sobol said.
Condoms, a form of protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, are a person’s “most important defense” against STDs, according to Sobol.
“If you make the choice of being sexually active then you need to protect yourself and your partner,” Sobol said.
She said she is aware however, that some students don’t wear condoms. The Health Center, according to Sobol, sees the outcomes of people not using condoms — the possibility of catching a STD.
“Most of the time when they are diagnosed with a STD, they think ‘I should have used a condom,'” she said.
One of the largest things students can do to keep themselves safe, Sobol said, is to talk about their “past sexual activity.” But Sobol said that is a difficult thing to talk about.
“It’s a hard subject to bring up. So, they just act,” Sobol said.
But not everyone has a hard time talking about their sexual history — Heath Gardner said it isn’t a tough subject for him and his girlfriend.
Gardner, a senior in English, said he and his girlfriend choose to wear condoms to avoid pregnancy and because his girlfriend prefers to.
Gardner said he uses condoms because he doesn’t want to get a STD. But, if he had a “committed relationship” and his girlfriend agreed, Gardner said he would have sex without one.
“I’d make sure I know about the person, not the one-night stand type of stuff,” Gardner said.
Ryan said he isn’t as concerned as Gardner. Although he would use a condom for a one-night stand, Ryan said he doesn’t “usually” use condoms.
“I’d probably [wear it] the first time, then I’d try [wearing] it off,” Ryan said.
Ryan said he is “sure most people” don’t wear condoms, but he isn’t worried about catching a STD.
“I don’t just do it with anybody,” Ryan said.
For him, not using a condom is a preference, but he is “not against it.”
Ryan is not alone. Katelyn Smith, a junior in animal science, said she isn’t very concerned about STDs either.
“I’ve never had a scare — that’s probably why I’m desensitized to the fact that STDs are around,” Smith said.
Smith, who said she usually uses condoms for the first four months of the relationship, would consider having sex without a condom if both her and her partner had been tested.
“As long as I trust my partner enough to believe them then I’m fine with it,” Smith said.
But trust is not always enough, Sobol said.
“It’s the mindset of ‘I wouldn’t sleep with anyone that has an STD’ but they don’t know that,” Sobol said. “People want to believe if they are with someone then [that person] is clean.”
But a person only knows his partner, not his partner’s partners, according to Sobol.
“There is a huge risk in that,” she said. “You are never really alone in the moment.”
The number of partners grows exponentially, she said.
Even with this, Sobol said people don’t think about it.
“There is still the stigma that STDs affect other people, but the “reality” is STDs affect the average person,” she said.
On the other hand, Sobol said that monogomous relationships are less at risk. Jason Loftin, a junior in sports management, doesn’t always use a condom. But he said he isn’t that worried about the concern about STDs and using condoms because he has been in a “long term” relationship.
“The only way I’ve ever not used a condom is if I have been with the same person for a long time,” Loftin said.
While others might say don’t worry about it, Sobol said students should be concerned about their condom use and practicing safer sex.
“People should fear the unknown, especially sexually. They aren’t aware of what the outcome is,” Sobol said of unsafe sex.