Editor’s note: To protect their identities, only the first names of the primary sources have been used and some names have been changed.

April 20, 2006.

It was only seven months ago his life changed. He knew it would never be the same again.

As he sat in the room alone waiting for the nurse to return with his results, he began to notice she was taking longer than the ones in the past. The longer she was gone, the more his anxiety built.

“It seemed like an eternity,” Kyle said.

The nurse came back with Kyle’s HIV test results.

He was positive.

“I just froze,” Kyle, a graduate student in public administration, said.

He was in disbelief and thought there must have been a mistake. This couldn’t happen to him. His life flashed before his eyes. The nurse talked with him and as she elaborated, he broke down and started crying.

“It was the toughest day I’ll ever live in my life,” Kyle said.

Why he was there

Kyle and his boyfriend at the time -Ã David -Ã had decided to go get tested together after taking a break from their relationship for a little while. Kyle had been putting off being tested because he had been tested in December, and the results were negative.

Kyle said he thought he was home free after his previous test results were negative. Before he took the test in December, he had been experiencing flu-like symptoms -Ã a sign of HIV -Ã so he wanted to clarify his status.

Now, he said he realizes those symptoms occurred when he first got infected, but it took a while for it to show up in a test.

The day Kyle and David got tested together, David’s results came back negative. Kyle said David was scared he might have it, too.

“It seems like I did a lot more comforting of him than I comforted myself or others comforted me,” Kyle said. “He was just really terrified he would have it.”

After Kyle and David left the clinic where they got tested -Ã the Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina -Ã the first person Kyle called was his friend of five years, Tony.

Kyle said when he first told Tony on his cell phone, Tony thought he was kidding. Once Tony realized it was true, he said he was scared.

“I have to keep him from killing himself,” was the first thought Tony said he had.

Tony said he was afraid of this because Kyle had said numerous times before this day that he would commit suicide if his results ever came back positive.

But, instead of committing suicide, he said the experience has made Kyle a stronger person.

The average college student

Kyle said he thinks his lifestyle is just like any other college student’s. He stays up late at night -Ã about 1 a.m. He sets his alarm but hits snooze for an hour before rolling out of bed around 10 a.m. He doesn’t shower until around noon or later.

“I am your typical college student,” Kyle said.

Kyle’s friend Adrian agreed. She said Kyle is just like anyone else except he has more stress and has to go to more doctors appointments.

According to Holly Danford, an HIV counselor at Wake County Public Health Services, a person with HIV is just like any other person except they have a virus and have to adjust their lifestyle a little to work with that.

When it comes to diet, Kyle said his is not very good. He said he eats a lot of “junk.” His favorite food is fried okra.

“I love soul food,” Kyle said.

According to Adrian, when she and Kyle hang out, they usually eat out. She said Kyle keeps up with new restaurants downtown and they are always going to different places.

Kyle said he eats fast food more than he should, and his favorite places to eat — Cook Out and Bojangles. When it comes to time for relaxation or procrastination, Kyle said he likes to watch Family Guy, CSI: Miami, Golden Girls and sports.

“I love sports,” Kyle said. “I yell at the TV.”

His favorite things are college basketball and football, but his walls are adorned with baseball pictures. Wake Forest is his favorite team. But, he’s much like most other N.C. State students in his hatred for one team.

“I hate Carolina,” he said. “I was raised to hate Carolina.”

But, when it comes to the newspaper, Kyle isn’t the sort of person to just read the sports section.

“I’m a news junkie,” he said.

He said he spends a couple hours each day reading the newspaper, generally online. His favorite paper to read is the News & Observer because he can get local and world news, and he said it is politically-oriented because it is in the state capitol.

The little things

Kyle said the hardest things for him to overcome are the fears he has. Since there are so many misconceptions in the world, he is afraid people won’t be able to look past their own prejudices.

The fear of being alone for the rest of his life is one of Kyle’s biggest fears. He said he has heard about a lot of “positive-negative” relationships that worked, but is afraid that won’t happen to him.

“Obviously everybody seeks to find a partner,” Kyle said. “That’s something I anticipate is going to be very difficult for me.”

He said no one he’s told has had a bad reaction, but he knows that is not always going to be the case.

“You don’t expect someone to be willing to have sex with you,” he said, acknowledging it’s good he was diagnosed early to avoid spreading it unknowingly. “Part of getting this and finding out that you have it is you feel extremely unattractive and tainted.”

However, not everyone feels he is tainted.

“When I look at him, I don’t see HIV. I just see him,” Tony said.

Anyone can have HIV, according to Danford, and not know it. She said HIV doesn’t discriminate and anybody can get it if they don’t take the right precautions.

Tony said he can go “quite a while” without thinking about Kyle being HIV positive. But Kyle can’t. He said sometimes he can go a couple hours without thinking about having HIV, but can’t recall a day since April 20 that it has not crossed his mind. Even the small things, like seeing a couple together, remind him that he has HIV.

Kyle said he has taken the opportunity to educate himself and others. He reads magazines and has done research online to learn about what is going on with his body. Now he wants to take what he has learned to teach others how to avoid acquiring the virus that leads to AIDS.

“I can use this to help other people in some way,” Kyle said.