I don’t care about star’s personal lives.

I really don’t.

News organizations like CNN pass off the latest Ã’DivorceÓ and Ã’I’m gayÓ headlines, or should I say punch lines, in the same media barrage as a helicopter being downed in Fallujah because quite frankly, it sells.

For example, at one point or another, Sean Connery has been my favorite actor, if it wasn’t the Bond franchise, in which his portrayal essentially carried the film series to this day, it was his stunning capacity for drama in Finding Forrester, or his ability to revitalize the Indiana Jones series by simply being in it.

What I didn’t want to know, more importantly what I didn’t need to know, was that on various occasions, he has condoned some level of physical abuse toward women, and that in his now ex-wife, Diane Cilento’s, recent autobiography, she accuses him of abusing her and their children.

Now, I cannot describe the ways in which I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT. I do not condone abuse toward anyone for any reason, but I see absolutely no need to make this information public to everyone, to throw something like this out into the open so that their family members will have to live with it for the rest of their lives.

Of course, this raises questions as to whether the book is valid to warn people, but in all honesty I don’t understand how the entire population of America should need a lesson on not hitting.

Connery denied the allegations, and I certainly won’t comment on their validity one way or another, but I will say that the act is a despicable one in any circumstance.

But you see, knowing about thousands of stars’ personal lives adds nothing to my own, I’m not going to learn any lessons about humanity. These articles are written to slander a small group of the population — actors and actresses — whether they’re true or not. Here’s all that I ever needed to know about Katie Holmes: she is an extremely attractive actress, who did excellent work as one of the costars on Dawson’s Creek.

Here’s all that I needed to know about Tom Cruise: strong actor, whose performances in Minority Report and Collateral I thoroughly enjoyed.

I don’t care about their religion. I don’t care that they had a baby. I don’t care that the groom went wild on Oprah one day. I just don’t.

If one person is abusing another, in whatever form, then it is their responsibility to talk things out, leave that person, or contact the police. It is not the responsibility of the paparazzi to plaster their tear-streamed faces across the Wal-Mart checkout counter. There is no way these people’s problems can be fully condensed and made digestible for the public, there’s too much emotion involved. It’s like walking into the middle of a couple’s argument, and both are trying to explain to you why, but you have none of the information and can only take them at their word, and after a certain point, it’s just not any of your business.

When it comes to stars, be they of film, television, music, novel, what have you, all I want to see are their products, the item that they put work into and mass-produced for people to purchase and enjoy. All I need to know about Angelina Jolie or Johnny Depp is what I see in their films, it only interferes with creative interpretation when you’re distinctly aware that the two leads, whoever they may be, are sleeping together and that is half the reason the movie made any money.

Entertainment is separation from reality. If these people feel that revealing their deeply guarded secrets will help them cope with it or raise awareness, I welcome them to it, but please, tabloids, stars, stop dictating to me your relationship advice and your beliefs in the almighty galactic dictator Xenu. You have the mistaken impression that I care.