Aditi Dholakia
Aditi Dholakia
Saturday marked the 13th annual Krispy Kreme Challenge, an event during which athletic prowess, gastrointestinal strength and sheer mental willpower form a holy trifecta, all in the name of charity.
Let me make this very clear from the get-go: I am in no way denying, nor belittling the charitable efforts of this grueling event. The UNC Children’s Hospital does groundbreaking work to keep their patients as healthy, happy and carefree as possible while battling heartbreaking illnesses day in and day out, and it is admirable to see people turn out in droves every year in support of the cause.
That being said, there’s something wildly ironic about an event in which participants push their bodies to their limits, while giving all proceeds to help children who are chronically or terminally ill.
Honestly, diabetic shock and blocked artery-inducing activities in any context are stupid. Adding in the aspect of charity helping disabled and ill children makes this specific activity the stupidest one of all.
The Krispy Kreme Challenge began in 2004, when a few Park Scholars and their friends decided to dare one another to run five miles and eat 12 doughnuts. The premise of the Challenge today is to run 2.5 miles, eat 12 still-warm doughnuts and run another 2.5 miles to the finish line, all within an hour without throwing up.
I don’t honestly know who in their right mind would consider running five miles while full of fat and sugar, but clearly something about it is enjoyable enough to repeat, year after year. Moreover, there seems to be a morbid sense of challenge and accomplishment that drives participants to brag about their results — more specifically, whether or not they puked.
If the streets littered with stale vomit and smashed doughnuts and the echoes of victorious or anguished screams don’t turn you away from this frankly herculean challenge, then perhaps the news that people have died while participating will.
In the 2016 challenge, an unnamed 58-year-old man left the race within the first mile complaining about chest pains. He was pronounced dead upon arrival at a hospital. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll mention that the man did appear to have a pre-existing heart condition that could have contributed to his untimely death.
Nonetheless, the fact remains that the rigor and gluttony involved in the Challenge can have very real consequences, ranging from gastrointestinal rebellion, to problems with diabetes and cholesterol, and even death.
Childhood obesity is an epidemic that, today, plagues approximately one in five school children aged 6-19. Thus returns the irony — thousands of people participating in a gluttonous endeavor, whose publicity feeds directly into the nation’s junk food market, and whose charity feeds directly into a children’s hospital, which is the last place any one would think to encourage unhealthy eating habits in the way the Krispy Kreme Challenge does.
I have no doubt that competing in the Challenge is a unique opportunity. Whether or not this gluttonous, decadent venture is the most appropriate vehicle for donations to a children’s hospital is debatable; personally, I think people can do literally anything else to raise money toward research and care for ailing kids.