What product will Steve Jobs convince us we need next? And given that, when will we all just vote the next device he sells us to become supreme overlord of Earth?

First it was the iPod. It had us convinced that we must have a massive supply of music on our person at all times, regardless of whether it was possible to actually listen to every song you could fit onto an 80 gigabyte music storage device before the battery ran out or some unfortunate event like your own death.

Then came the iPhone, which sought to combine two devices into one, giving people the power to listen to music, check their mail, call, text, browse the intertubes, play Scrabble and find a restaurant on ONE DEVICE. And that’s just scratching the surface. (Full disclosure: I am addicted to my iPhone. I become a small, lost child inclined to just curl up into the fetal position in the corner of whatever room I occupy when I forget it at home.)

And now, we have the iPad. From what I gather, it is essentially a really big iPhone, which sadly almost has me sold. Only two things hold me back: a new laptop with a real keyboard and my lack of the financial means to purchase an iPad. And the thing is selling like crazy, with The New York Times reporting 300,000 iPads were sold on the FIRST DAY.

It is at this point that I have determined we should simply elect the iPad to be the supreme overlord of Earth. Given its overwhelming appeal in a country as divided as America — the iPad has yet to be released to international markets — I am convinced the iPad can cure cancer, end inequality, stop terrorism and bring peace to the Middle East, nay the entire world! There’s an app for that, you know.

In fact, it is in our best interest to elect the iPad as supreme ruler now, before we lose the ability to do so. I am convinced the next product Jobs comes out with will so completely destroy our ability to find fault with it that world domination would be easy. We’d still be catatonic from having our minds blown by the iAwesome’s incredible functionality and ease of use.

And may the heavens and all the divines forbid Apple from an alliance with Google. I am certain any such entity would so completely overwhelm our sensory abilities to be critical and concerned about their combined products that we’d essentially put ourselves into the funky slime pods from the Matrix and gladly surrender our body heat to power the Googapple’s mighty throne.

Hence, we have but two choices: act now and maintain some of our dignity, or eventually fall under the invisible yoke of the hegemony of the Googapple’s might. I say the choice is simple: let’s just go ahead and vote the iPad and Google to become the democratically elected rulers of the world, hopefully subject to some constraints on how much awesomeness their apps can give in a single dose so as to keep us from dying of pure amazement.

For those interested in action now, I encourage you to check your N.C. State e-mail accounts, courtesy of Google, join my Google Wave on the matter and download the new app I am in the process of creating, available on iTunes for no charge.

And for the serious person out there, isn’t it kinda scary how some people might actually buy this sort of idea?