In an attempt keep up with the fast-approaching future, NC State has unveiled a new plan to update its look by replacing its classic bricks with chrome tiles, Chancellor Randy Woodson announced from atop his (illegal) hoverboard yesterday. 

“This is part of ‘think and do’; if we want to ‘think’ like it’s 2016, we have to ‘do’ 2016 stuff … chrome,” Woodson said. 

There are many benefits that come with a chrome university experience, as the chancellor was sure to remind the students. 

“First of all, it looks awesome,” Woodson. “Second, it looks awesome. Third, the blinding reflection from the ground will add massive revenue to our sunglasses industry. Fourth, you can check out your outfit on the wall of your building to make sure you look as tight as your campus. I’m excited.” 

When the chancellor says the bricks will be replaced, he means every brick on campus will be replaced with shiny, metallic, futuristic chrome, according to former exterior designer for NC State, Arthur Crafts.

“It’s a disgrace. A university isn’t supposed to look sexy, it’s supposed to be a place for learning and formative life experiences. Those bricks were a symbol of … something. Hard work?” Crafts trailed off, desperation taking hold. 

For NC State’s long boarders, the new campus terrain is the culmination of years of lobbying Student Government to reduce friction on campus so they can reach max speed and increase their attractiveness to previously unheard of levels. 

Jax “The Slider” Bevers, a fifth-year studying (we’re not sure what) who is named for his long boarding prowess on campus, is ready for the reduced friction. 

“It’s like getting a new playground,” said The Slider. “It’s really cool. I’m so happy. I’m gonna wait to graduate another year just so I can slide to class every day and drive the chicks crazy.”