We live in an age when people have the power to do amazing things with their lives. Technological advancement is booming, medicine is evolving on a continual basis and other inventions allow people to concentrate on new challenges instead of performing tedious tasks day in and day out.

And then there’s Flappy Bird.

Flappy Bird is an abomination. Flappy Bird’s first impression is one of a lighthearted and friendly—albeit fairly dim—creature, flying peacefully through a serene landscape filled with naught but hopes and dreams. Then, within a few brief seconds, Mario-style pipes pop up and provide a challenge for Flappy Bird to overcome. It is said that a person truly shows his or her character when presented with adversity, and this is true of Flappy Bird in every respect.

In short, Flappy Bird is a dastardly creature who thrives off the rage of anyone he comes into contact with.

If you need any evidence, simply ask yourself this: Why does Flappy Bird choose to fly through all these pipes? Looking at the landscape around him, it’s clear that there is literally nothing in this world around the path he chooses to take. Can’t he just fly around? And why doesn’t he fly on his own accord? He hovers under his own power for a short while before prompted to flap his wings and then immediately assumes the persona of a defunct fighter jet with an intoxicated pilot. It’s clear he is toying with the player of the game, and he knows the player will keep coming back for more based on the blank, sideways stare of disappointment he gives whenever he hits the ground.

Despite the empty and lifeless front he shows the user, Flappy Bird is a cunning and sadistic genius. He draws you into his evil game and then watches from the front row as you fall into a state of hopeless belligerence for his own crude entertainment. He loves it. He thrives off it.

He lives for your pain.

And so, it is not with any semblance of remorse, but rather with immense joy, that I report that Flappy Bird is no more. His creator brought him to life on a whim, and to his credit, never expected this egregious “thing” to infect the lives of others on the massive scale that it has. Upon witnessing the fallout of countless poor souls who had been plagued by his epidemic, the creator chose to remove the game from the app stores where it was being distributed (on both iOS and Android devices). It will still remain on users’ devices that have already had the misfortune of downloading the game, but the capturing of new lives has been put to a violent halt.

For those who have already been captured by Flappy Bird, I present an ultimatum: Do not let his spirit take any more precious life from you than it already has. Echoes of Flappy Bird’s existence will continue to resonate within the depths of your phone until you forcefully vanquish them, and it is only through these that this creature can cause more pain. If you allow Flappy Bird to continue through this fractured existence, it is entirely possible he could come back even stronger than before.

Please keep Flappy Bird dead.

Send your thoughts to Ricky at technician-viewpoint@ncsu.edu.