Jokes don’t even need to be made about the new provisions the Football Task Force has outlined. We accept some of them — no kegs and no tailgating more than four hours before the game — with some hesitation, but one of these provisions we find appalling.

The Task Force has suggested students and fans sitting outside the “ivory” Vaughan Towers should be pat down before entering Carter-Finley Stadium to prevent the consumption of alcohol.

Yes, that’s right. While all of us proletariat, regular fans are being patted down on four specific points of our body (arms, waist, ankles and back), the more important fans sitting in the boxes of Vaughan Towers will be sipping their gin and tonics and laughing at us, possibly while wearing monocles and lighting their pipes with hundred dollar bills. We don’t know what they do in there; we can’t see from our lowly sober seats.

The whole alcohol double standard is definitely a subject for another editorial, though. Let’s get back to this whole “pat down” issue.

Have things really gotten that bad?

Can we not be trusted?

We understand students bring alcohol into games and if the rules say we shouldn’t, then we shouldn’t, but patting each fan down before they enter a game is a little extreme.

Forget the fact that you are searching your own fans. How about the problem that is already at hand with the amount of fans trying to enter the game and the lack of efficiency to get them to their seats?

Let’s add the amount of time it will take to search each person going through.

Twenty or thirty minutes as it stands right now for getting into the game + A hell of a lot of time to search students = A large amount of students missing kickoff.

But we guess in this age of warrantless searches, it only makes sense for us to be patted down when all we want to do is watch a football game.

Oh and by the way, it’s not going to work. People will just figure out another way to get alcohol into the game and all this is going to do is offend many people and illustrate the double standard with those in Vaughn Towers.

Just thought you’d like to know.