Everyone tries to achieve it. Men try to delay it. It’s seen on TV and in the movies. People are loud to emphasize its presence. They moan, bite their lips, pant, scream, stay silent or whatever they please before they reach it. The desired thing — an orgasm.

The media gives a certain image of what sex should be like, according to Marianne Turnball, director of Health Promotions. She referenced the scene in When Harry Met Sally where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in the restaurant and said she disagrees with the image it portrays.

“Orgasms are very individual,” Turnball said. “Women should be free enough to make whatever noises they want.”

She said women need to explore their bodies to find out what gives them pleasure. After women have found their pleasure points, she said they need to communicate this with their partners.

“Most guys want to please the woman, or their partner,” Turnball said.

However, she said for one partner to please another, he or she must be in-tune with them.

One part of knowing how a partner is doing is knowing his or her mood at that point.

“Mood is really important,” Turnball said.

According to James Kalat, a professor of psychology, sexual arousal requires relaxation.

But, at times, relaxation can be hard to achieve on campus when a student is faced with a small space, limited privacy and a roommate, according to Turnball.

“Some people could do it in the subway,” she said. “Other people are in touch with their environment and it takes away from the mood.”

It can be difficult to block out exterior stress with schoolwork and exams.

“It’s hard to table those things,” Turnball said.

If students are distracted by other things in their lives, they will have difficulty being stimulated, which is required to have an orgasm.

All sensations are in the head, according to Kalat. Turnball agrees. She said the brain is the biggest sex organ, and the mind is the most erotic organ.

An orgasm can be also be good for those high-stress times, if it is achieved, according to Turnball.

“Sex is a tension release,” Turnball said.

According to her, self-confidence is needed for a successful sexual experience.

Turnball said women are still not comfortable with their bodies even though education has increased.

“You are who you are, and you need to find someone who agrees with that,” she said.

Stacking oneself up against the image portrayed in the media is not a fair comparison, according to Turnball.

“Some women are totally uncomfortable with their bodies and are waiting for Prince Charming to come along and take care of them,” Turnball said.

She does not think this is a healthy way to view one’s body.

Nervousness is often the result of a lack of self-confidence. Kalat said nervousness decreases the likelihood of being aroused.

Self-confidence isn’t everything. People also need to recognize myths and treat them that way — unreal, according to Turnball.

She said the “g-spot” is hypothetical. No one has proved if it actually exists. The g-spot is said to be on the vaginal wall and the reason behind a vaginal orgasm.

All women do not achieve orgasms through only vaginal stimulation.

“A vaginal orgasm isn’t an A or A-plus and all else is invaluable,” she said.

To focus solely on a vaginal orgasm is a waste of an orgasm and time, according to Turnball.

Partners need to be willing and free to communicate about what works for them, Turnball said. And, sometimes one partner should just show the other what he or she wants.

Orgasms do not always happen with physical stimulation. They happen while a person is asleep by complete fantasy, according to Kalat.

And if a person is having difficulty achieving an orgasm alone and with a partner, Turnball said a vibrator can be helpful, especially for women.

“The sex toy thing is helpful for some women,” she said.

Becoming dependent on this stimulation is not suggested, though. A woman needs to learn to wean herself off the vibrator because “that doesn’t happen with two people.” She should learn to manipulate her orgasm with her own hands after figuring out what works best for her with the vibrator, Turnball said.

A couple needs to work together toward intimacy and relaxation — to clear their heads. Scheduling sex without the necessary time together to get in the mood will not be successful, according to Turnball.

If people have difficulty being sexually aroused, she said sex therapy exists — which is like any other therapy, only the people discuss their sex life. This therapy is to help people figure out what is holding them back.

Sex is not the only part of a relationship, Turnball said, and not all people believe it to be the most important component over time.

Turn-offs vary from person to person, they are like orgasms — individual.

Turnball said the biggest turnoff is worrying about being properly protected against STDs and pregnancy. To avoid this and be able to not worry about things that can be prevented, she said communication and testing are key.

“Go with your partner to go to the test,” she said.

Once students overcome the obstacles that can inhibit arousal — stress, surrounding, worries, tests, body image and insecurities — they can find what pleases them as individuals.