300 * * 1/2

300Rating: * * 1/2MPAA Rating: RType: Action, DramaLength: 117 minutesDirector: Zack SnyderStarring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey Playing: Grande, Six Forks, Carmike 15, Mission Valley, Crossroads 20

300 has billed itself as the next Sin City in more ways than one. The unique colorization, the titanic battles against inhuman odds, and the tough badasses that make the ride worthwhile — all of it tries to evoke that thriller based on the Frank Miller graphic novel. Well, the immediate problem with that is 300 lacks the modern appeal that Sin City held, and I don’t mean that 300 should have changed venues to Detroit and placed Mickey Rourke as the lead, I’m saying 300 does little to distinguish itself from a thousand other movies set in this time period. Troy, Alexander, Gladiator — this movie smacks of those conventions, the king struggling against impossible odds, the man struggling against inner demons, the women who tried to love them for it. No amount of disfigured monsters or physics-defying slaughter fests changes the fact that I’ve seen this movie before in a thousand other, often better, ways.

300 isn’t bad — if it’s senseless violence and a healthy heaping of nudity you crave, look no further. I had a bit of fun; I can’t deny it. I’m sure there’s something, you know, morally wrong with me when decapitations cause me to giggle, but that’s part of the appeal. The Battle of Thermopylae has never been this entertaining, and if my textbook had mentioned the saw-handed demons or the bullet time sword fights, I probably would have changed majors on the spot. But it lacks substance, or more to the point, raw dramatic power. This is no small part. The film’s cast displays rather hollow acting, save Gerard Butler, who plays the Spartan King Leonidas, and whose cries of “Tonight we dine in hell!” are at least memorable and just the right amount of gruff.

Although, maybe it’s not bad acting. It may simply be the dialogue, and before I get a retort to the effect of “It’s a comic book movie, what do you expect?” I’ll remind you that there’s good and bad comic book dialogue. Good is Sin City, whose corny lines even involved the phrase “bum ticker” but held the distinct advantage that the film avoided taking itself seriously enough that we could laugh at the right lines, and be chilled by the others. Bad dialogue, demonstrated here, is seen in how the movie takes itself too seriously. I’m not saying the film shouldn’t take it seriously, mind you, if it doesn’t carry its weight properly the drama will never get across. But here the movie doesn’t show its comic book heritage. Instead, it tries to blend with the endless hordes of Hollywood Greek and Roman tragedian films. I would simply prefer that the film try to distinguish itself from the rest of the industry.

I’d like to say that I’m done bashing, and that I’m finally going to move into its qualities, but when you break it down, there aren’t a lot. The music, excepting one especially epic charge, is quickly forgettable and might have worked better if someone had sat down in front of a synthesizer board, picked up an electric guitar, and riffed, because when I watch action, I’d better hear it as much as I see and feel it. Also, to break up the action, there’s a subplot involving Leonidas’ wife as she tries to persuade the Spartan court to support her husband’s actions. Although, if memory serves, this is straight from the original graphic novel, it feels tacked on and uninteresting and ultimately has no real hand in the Spartan’s epic battle.

Now, some of you may have been hearing that this movie bears a disturbing resemblance to certain events on the world stage, a powerful Middle Eastern country that doesn’t value women being pitted against an army of men proclaiming their battle is one for freedom and so forth. I rather refuse to comment on this, considering how closely it appears to follow the source material, which dates back nearly a decade. I’ve also realized that many things like this are really things that we may want to see and may not necessarily be there. It isn’t wise to mount one’s soapbox about such things, especially when there may not be evidence that extends beyond simple opinion in either case. If we’ve gotten to the point where we see agendas in 20th Century FOX’s TV drama 24, then I believe we have all gone quite mad.

Anywho, those looking for a good ol’ violent romp need look no further than this. Even with all that I’ve said, you’ll probably enjoy it once, and that may be all you need.